“A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” Proverbs 17:17
“You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family” is an old adage that implies that family relationships can be very difficult to manage, while friendships are easier to maintain. Friends are often chosen based upon similar likes and dislikes; we tend to gravitate toward those who are like-minded. On the other hand, family members are not chosen; we are born with them. No matter their viewpoint, family members are a constant in our lives, thus being “born for adversity.”
It is important to understand that God placed each of us in our families for a purpose. We may not understand that purpose, but we do know that God never makes a mistake, and that includes placing us into the family into which we are born. He chose my parents for me, my children, and even my grandchildren as well. We were all chosen by God to be part of a particular family.
Friends, however, are chosen by us. Certain friendships only last for specific periods of time, like high school or college friends. Other friends may last a lifetime. Friends are even classified differently. There are “casual friends,” “Facebook friends,” and “best friends.” Even those in our “church family” are usually classified as friends. Most of our friends enrich our lives in one way or another, even if they were only friends for a short time. Sadly, when disagreements do occur, some friends chose to end the relationship and our lives do separate ways.
Conversely, when there are disagreements between family members, no matter how ugly, family is still family. Nothing negates that. There is a tie that cannot be broken, even if sometimes we may wish it could be. Being family doesn’t mean that everything is good and loving between all members, it simply means that there is a distinct connection will always be there. It takes a lot of effort to make a family successful because we are each unique individuals with our own opinions, feelings, expectations, and desires that often get in the way. Despite the adversity we may find ourselves surrounded by at times, we must strive to do God’s will within our familial role because ultimately, it is our heavenly Father to whom we are accountable. Additionally, we are often “the only Jesus they will ever see.”
I love my family more than I could put into words, but I must admit they sometimes drive me crazy! (I am sure I do the same to them!) We have also had our share of hurtful issues that took a long time to heal, and there are others that are still a work in progress, but through them all, we are still family… born for adversity perhaps, but nevertheless, born to be together, good or bad. Remember, God never makes mistakes.
Having said all this, I would like to offer another old saying that I prefer more than the first one: “Variety is the spice of life.” God is the master chef, and the members of my family are the plethora of spices He uses to season our relationship with its own unique flavors resulting in a fabulous one-of-a-kind recipe!
You’re the only Jesus some will ever see,
And you’re the only words of life some will ever read,
So let them see in you, the One in whom is all they’ll ever need,
‘Cause you’re the only Jesus some will ever see.
(from “You’re the Only Jesus Some Will Ever See” by Gordon Jensen)
“And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.” Joshua 24:15
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In your family, are you the sweet flavor of love and forgiveness or the spicy hotness of discord?