But I’m Afraid!

 

And Moses said before the LORD, Behold, I am of uncircumcised lips, and how shall Pharaoh hearken unto me?” – Exodus 6:30

It is so easy to let fear dictate my actions. I have a fear of spiders, so I resist deep cleaning my closets, weeding the flower beds, or retrieving a sock from under the bed. As irrational as the fear may be, it still manages to impact my life. Fortunately, I have two granddaughters who have no qualms about bugs, so they usually help me out when needed!

However, there is another fear I have with which the girls cannot help me. This fear concerns communication. I don’t have any trouble chatting with family or friends, but if I am in a position where I am promoting something, it really unnerves me, and I shrink back from sharing my thoughts. This fear is great enough to keep me from following through on my intentions and often leaves me very frustrated and disappointed. Two examples come to mind.

First, I am not a salesperson. Right now, I am trying to start a business for myself being a health coach. This is really difficult for me. I get tongue-tied, flustered, unsure of myself, and that’s not a good characteristic when you’re trying to sell yourself or a product. Case in point, I am also an author of Christian novels, but marketing the books is not something I enjoy doing, so I don’t. Therefore, I find myself usually only selling my books to family and close friends.

The second issue I have regarding communication is that I get really nervous sharing the gospel with strangers. Witnessing to others about the Lord is something God has commanded us to do. In Mark 16:15, Jesus says, “…Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.” I can easily write about God in my novels and blogs, but in situations like knocking on doors during visitation or passing out tracts, I get very anxious. I wonder, “What will I say?” “How will I start the conversation?” While I know this fear is very irrational, it is difficult to overcome, and to do so, I have to step outside of comfort zone. That is so very hard for me to do, and often I find myself shying away from situations where I would be required to reach out and share my thoughts.

I imagine Moses must have felt similar feelings when God called him to free the Israelites from Egyptian bondage. Eventually, he surrendered to God’s calling, and became Israel’s greatest prophet. Moses chose to follow God’s command, but what if he hadn’t chosen to obey? What if Moses had refused to listen to God out of fear?

When God calls me to do something… whether it’s to pick up the phone and call someone, or teach a Sunday school class, or share a tract with the grocery store clerk, I have a choice to make. That choice is to obey God or not. I must remember that if God calls me to do something for Him, He will equip  and empower me to do it through His Holy Spirit. Does this make it easy? No, not at all, but Jesus never said following Him would be easy. John 15:20 records Jesus’ words. He said, “…If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you…” In fact, He often reminded His followers that the path they chose would be very difficult, but He would always be with them to help them. In 2 Corinthians 12:9, the Lord states, “…My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” During these times that I find so hard to endure, it is the strength of the Lord that will carry me through because when I am weak and afraid, He is strong and promises to deliver me!

So, the next time I am prompted by the Holy Spirit to speak out for God, I am going to do my very best to step out in faith and share the gospel, trusting Him to speak through me. It may not be easy to step out of my comfort zone, but it will be worth it. I know if I am faithful to plant the seed, God will be faithful to do His part.

Sometimes life seems like words and music that can’t quite become a song.
So we cry inside, and we try it again, and wonder what could be wrong.
But, when we turn to the Lord at the end of ourselves
Like we’ve done a time or two before
We find His truth is the same as it has always been
We never will need more.

He’s all we need for our every need, we never need be alone
Still He’ll let us go if we choose to, to live life on our own
Then the only good that will ever be said of the pains we find ourselves in
There are places to gain, the wisdom to say
I’ll never leave Him again.

It’s not in trying But in trusting, it’s not in running But in resting
Not in wondering But in praying that we find the strength of the Lord

(from “The Strength of the Lord” by Larnelle Harris)

Fear ye not, neither be afraid: have not I told thee from that time, and have declared it? ye are even my witnesses. Is there a God beside me? yea, there is no God; I know not any.” – Isaiah 44:8

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Thinking about my fears will not alleviate them, but stepping out in faith will!

 

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